Angel of Twitter
by Henny14
Summary: With their previous method of communication; texting failing Castiel decides he, Sam and Dean are in need of a new way of contact. So, he gets them twitter accounts, but soon things get out of hand with Castiel's tweeting and Sam and Dean try and put a stop to it. WIP (by no means take this story seriously, it is completely for fun)
1. Chapter 1

**Angel of Twitter**

 _In which Sam, Dean and Cas get Twitters and Cas tweets too much._

"Dean, Sam we are in need of a new form of contact," Castiel announced, appearing early one morning.

"Isn't texting good enough, Cas?" Sam asked.

"No, it does not suffice. I have found an alternative, better way of communicating," the angel replied.

"What do you mean?" Sam wondered.

"It is a form social networking of the 'web', which I assumed is a spiders' web that is inside one of your 'computers' but it turned out it was not. But, anyway it is called Twitter and it is very important," Cas answered.

"What the hell is Twitter?" Dean asked, looking up from the apple pie he was eating.

"I just explained to you," Castiel said, looking accusingly at the pie-eating hunter. "But, it has not, in fact got any birds in it whatsoever. Very confusing."

"Dude, you don't know what twitter is?" Sam asked exasperatedly.

"No!" Dean replied, shoving a forkful of pie into his mouth. "Should I?"

"Yes. Everyone has a twitter nowadays. Even I do. You can use it to see what your favourite celebrities are doing and keeping up with the word."

"You have a twitter?!"

"Of course I have a twitter!"

"Well, then," Dean said, looking at his pie. "So, Sam, you said you can see what your favourite celebrities are doing?"

"Yes..."

"Does Doctor Sexy have one?"

"Yeah," Sam replied. "And over 2 million followers at that."

"So, how do I sign up?"

"Well," Castiel said, stepping forward. "I will need your mobile devices to download an application, and then I will show you how to create one, Dean. Sam, you can log into yours. I have already downloaded the application to my vessel's mobile device."

"Okay," Dean said, finishing his pie. "That sounds easy."

Castiel took Sam and Dean's phones and downloaded the Twitter app, and then showed Dean how to create an account.

Dean took a nice selfie for his profile picture and was now looking at his completed profile.

"Is is actually really awesome," Dean said, as he pressed the follow button for "DoctorSexyOfficial"

"I am glad you like it, Dean," Castiel said, looking at Dean's profile.

It read:

 **Dean Winchester**

 **Impala67**

 **Rollin' through town, no strings attached**

 **Lebanon, Kansas**

 **Following:**

 **Sam Winchester**

 **SamW**

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

 **Doctor Sexy MD**

 **OfficialDoctorSexy**

 **Chevrolet Impala Fanclub**

 **Impalafans**

 **Pie Monthly**

 **Piesforall**

 **FOLLOWERS:**

 **Sam Winchester**

 **SamW**

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

 **Ally ~21**

 **DEANLUVSCAS**

"Wait, who's that?" Dean asked. "Dean loves Cas? I'm blocking whoever that is."

Castiel looked confused and Sam just laughed.

Dean ignored him.

"So what are we gonna do on here?" he asked.

"Well there are extensive features. I can tweet to both of you and you I can also private message you if it is needed," Cas replied.

"Okay, then. Awesome," Dean replied.

~One week later~

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

Impala67 Hello Dean. I smote some Demons today, how is your day going. :D. from, Castiel.

"Oh, god, Man, I think Cas has gone a little crazy with these tweets?" Sam asked Dean as he read Castiel's newest tweet.

"You think?! He's already written 100 tweets to me in the past WEEK. He's insane," Dean replied as he ate a bacon cheeseburger.

"100? Try getting 150. He won't stop the tweets," Sam said.

"Agreed. He needs to calm down, or stop."

"Mmhmm," Sam said as a another notification came in from Castiel.

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 Hello, Dean, Sam. I have just discovered the marvels of text acronyms. LOL! TTFN, Castiel.

"Oh no..." Sam began. "He's using text speak now."

"What?" Dean inquired, pulling his phone out and opening twitter. "What the hell? First emoticons and now this. He seriously needs to give it a rest."

"Yup," Sam agreed. "But how?"

Castiel smiled to himself as he posted a Selfie of himself onto Twitter:

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 S&D look at this Demon I just smote LOL. I rly need 2 give my powers a rest coz I'm gettin' gd at this twitting... BRB

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

Impala67 SamW I am back. did u not c my tweet? Y didn't u reply? :'(

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 U guys ok? I am rly worried shall I fly over & check u?

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

What does 'fuck' mean? I am not familiar with the phrase... lol. SamW Impala67 can u help me?

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 :( :( :( :( :( :( r u ignoring me? I am not happy. I feel... sad :'( :'( :'(

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

PLS don't ignore me SamW Impala67 I need u :( :(

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

(8 hours later)

 **Sam Winchester**

 **SamW**

Angelofthelord sorry, Cas. We were taking a break from tweeting.

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW y? don't u like twitter? I am very sad :'(

 **Sam Winchester**

 **SamW**

Angelofthelord Cas, we like twitter but I think maybe you should take a break from it? Come and see us?

 **Castiel**

 **Angelofthelord**

SamW Ok. C U in a sec...

Castiel appeared in Sam and Dean's motel room a moment later.

"Hello, Sam. Hello, Dean," he said, awkwardly.

"Hey, Cas," Sam said.

"Yeah, hey," Dean said.

"Why am I here?" Castiel asked. "What do you need me for?"

"Well, I thought we could spend time together, y'know. We never actually do anything like that and we need some down time. We finished a hard hunt a couple hours ago."

"Yes, okay," Castiel said. "What would you like to do?"

"Well we could go for a walk as a start and then maybe grab a coffee?" Sam said.

"Yes, I would like that."

"Awesome. Let's go then," Dean said, standing up. "Hopefully I can get pie."

Sam rolled his eyes.

They got their things and headed out to the Impala.

"Let's go then BFFs," Castiel said, smiling slightly (which was a rare sight)

"Don't do that," Dean said.

"Why?"

"Just don't."

"Fine."

They got into the car.

"Would you like to know my favourite Twitter acronym?"

"Ugh, fine," Dean said reluctantly.

"AFFA," Castiel said. "Angels forever, forever angels. It represents my Brothers, Sisters and I."

"Cas, please just stop."

"Kk,"

"STOP!" Dean yelled.

"Alright, fine," Cas replied.

The impala drove off into the sunset...

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**Angel of Twitter**

 _In which, Castiel tweets Sam and Dean while they are researching and gets into a tweet fight with an impostor._

Dean and Sam sat in yet another damp, grimy motel room, poring over newspapers for a case.

"So, Cas hasn't been on twitter for a while," Dean said to break the uneasy silence that had been settling over them. "Nearly four days."

"Yeah," Sam said, not looking up at Dean. "Maybe he's taking this twitter free time seriously?"

"Or maybe he's gone over his Data plan."

"Mm, that's probably more likely, but he'd still get Wi-fi."

"Or maybe it's broken."

"Could be."

Just then, Dean's phone made a loud noise that meant he had a new notification.

"Crap," Dean muttered. "Spoke too soon. I bet that was him."

Dean touched the notification that had popped up. It read 'Castiel ( Angelofthelord): Impala67 SamW...'

"It was," Dean muttered, loading up the tweet.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

Impala67 SamW Imho demons are assbutts.

"The hell?" Dean muttered.

"What is it?" Sam asked, leaning over the table they were sitting at to get a look at Dean's phone. "'Imho demons are assbutts'? What does he mean?"

"I dunno, man. He's beyond help," Dean replied. "Remember when we went to that parallel universe where everyone universe when our life was Tv show?"

Sam shuddered slightly. "How could I forget?"

"Yeah, well remember the 'actor' who played Cas, that was always tweeting? What was his name...? Mishka or something?"

"It was Misha," Sam said.

"Yeah well, _Misha_ tweeted things like that... what if Cas is _becoming_ him?"

"Dean... how could Cas become him? And, anyway, he got killed, remember?"

"Yeah, but maybe his spirit is inhabiting Cas..."

"He was from a parallel universe. There is no way on earth that could have happened."

"Yeah, I guess that's a crazy idea."

Sam's phone beeped. "That'll be Cas again," Dean sighed.

Sam picked up his phone. "It is," he muttered.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

SamW Impala67 OMF please reply to my tweets. I spend 3 'hours' composing them. :'(

Sam sighed, "What the hell does OMF mean?"

Dean shrugged. "Not a clue."

Sam began to write a reply to the angel, because he really needed to know what the strange phrases he was using were.

 **Sam Winchester SamW**

Angelofthelord Hey Cas... what does 'OMF' mean?

Around 3 seconds later, the reply came in.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

SamW hello Sam! You use the acronym 'omg' and that stands for 'oh my god' so I changed it to 'oh my father' :)

 **Sam Winchester SamW**

Angelofthelord thanks, Cas.

"We need to get back to research," Sam said, closing twitter and shutting his phone down.

Dean sighed and closed Candy Crush Saga (Dean wouldn't admit, but he liked the game much more than he should and stayed up for hours in the night trying to beat a level.)

"Fine," he said, switching his phone off.

-very important line break-

Castiel sat on his phone in a wi-fi cafe not far from where Dean and Sam's motel was, on his phone, browsing twitter.

He was following over 500 people on it, and had around 100 followers himself (he had no idea how that happened)

He had followed someone called 'God' thinking it was really his father, and that he had finally found him after all those years, but it turned out it was just some stupid assbutt posing as his father and turning it into a joke. Castiel was NOT impressed. In fact he was furious.

He angrily typed a tweet to the impostor of his father.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

IamGod OMF, how DARE u impersonate my father in such a way. It is blasphemous, assbutt. If you continue to do so I WILL smite you.

 **God IamGod**

Angelofthelord hahahahaha who the hell are you?! Very funny... like you're an actual angel...

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

IamGod I am Castle. I am an actual angel, you assbutt. I stay true to my words. I will smite you.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

My name is Castiel not Castle. I do not understand? LOL

 **God IamGod**

Angelofthelord you are one annoying piece of shit. Just piss off.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

IamGod no I will not 'piss' off. I will not have you using my father's name in vain. You urine off.

 **God IamGod**

Angelofthelord Listen here you little shit. Stop pretending to be an angel, we all know god doesn't exist.

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

IamGod how DARE you?! I WILL find you and smite you!

 **God has blocked you**

"What did I do?!" Castiel shouted out loud in the Cafe, causing everyone to look at him.

"Assbutt..." he muttered under his breath and returned to his twitter. "I am going to find you."

...

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

I have just discovered hashtags. #Castiel #iamanangelofthelord #Ilovetwitter #Omf #Ilovetwitter

 **Castiel Angelofthelord**

What does Bae mean?

 **A/N apologies for the overuse of the word Assbutt. I just can't resist. And, also, I fear Dean is right and Cas may actually become meta!Misha XD**

 **Thanks for the reviews! I'm having so much fun writing this..**

 **Next time: Castiel tries to find God (fake) and updates his profile...**


End file.
